The Feeling of Being a New Mother

We talked about children and were in alignment that we wanted them. I suppose unlike many we actually planned our first child. We agreed when we would start the process and was pretty surprised how fast things moved. (I know many have a hard time and can struggle for years) In my case, it only took once without protection. That night I had a dream where I met my child and I woke up the next morning and remarked, “your pregnant” My partners response was, “ geez don't say that we just begin trying!” Needless to say it wasn't long until that life changing moment. I was working on the computer and I heard her say from the other room, “Hey can we talk” and I knew in that moment what was coming next in the simple way she said it. I continued to type and told her I would be right there. My mind left what I was doing on the computer but I remained for a moment just typing knowing everything was about to change. I took a few breaths and went into the other room and there it was: The Test. I suppose all of us had our own moment when we first learned. Its universal. All across the world every minute of the day someone is getting the news they will be a new dad. I looked down at the test, I checked the paperwork and checked the test again. It was adding up. I asked if she had taken a second test and she had said she had not. I told her I would step out to the local drug store and grab a few more tests. You want to be sure right? 

I went into the back of the pharmacy and found a two pack of tests. As I walked though the isle I found a silver nickel from 1930 on the ground. Always enjoying old coins I saw this as a good omen. I looked over and saw a big heart shape box of chocolates being it February and felt like that was a good idea to pick that up too. I drop the items on the counter and the person began ringing them up first the chocolate and then he paused looked up at me and looked back the the pregnancy test. He didn't say anything and neither did I. I wondered if he had been in the same boat in the past or was just acknowledging what world I was in at that moment. All paid for I headed for the door and just as I crossed outside I heard the delayed “good luck” from the man behind the counter. At this point I had been experiencing a strange sense of peace and focus. Sure I was a little older, maybe somewhat more established, we did agree to try and plan so it wasn't so much as a surprise rather the awareness the moment had finally arrived.

Interestingly the chocolates didn't exactly land as I hoped. Seemed my partner was a little preoccupied with other matters. Being a good student she took both tests and passed them. So now we had three tests all pointing to a life changing result. There was excitement, fear and a general sense of “what now” but we knew our lives were about to change. I walked out of the room and met my then roommate in the hall. Rob was also a father with a son living a few hours away he visited often and I stopped him and in a whisper said, “we are pregnant” and much to the chagrin of the mom to be she yelled, “you are not suppose to tell anyone yet, Jesus its only been two minutes” and so began the adventure.